Something about Family

                In my opinion, Forer’s discussion of birth order is less accurate. I was born as the third, the last children in my family, neither I feel like “I am less able to do many things than other people” nor I want others to care much about me. I think that being the last means I should be better in almost everything than my siblings already done, because I have much more time to learn how to do things from them, thus I obtained more experience than them. For example, long before my Final Examination, I watched my siblings prepared for their Final Examination and asked how the results were. After that, I have this in my mind, “I, as the last children should have been got a better result than my siblings’. I will follow their method of preparation, or I will improve the method if it does not suit me”. That was what I think at that time.

                I am the last and the only son, so my parents may have some high expectations of me as their “last hope”. This is because most of the parents would prefer to have sons rather than daughters, due to the difference of capability they have and the responsibility they must carry when they grow up. Thus, I do not like others to care much about me, since it has the tendency to make me a dependent person. I want to be a wise, responsible, truthful, and successful man, more than my father who managed to succeed struggling in the crowd of Jakarta, also I want to thank my parents for all the lessons of life they teach me, for all the struggles they had to raise me, and for all the love they gave me, by any means.

                Forer’s discussion applies more to the typical family in the U.S. (mother, father, two children) than to families in general. That is because it less describes the middle child and the single child, it focuses on “the later and the first child”.

                The statement, “the youngest child tends to think, ‘I am less able to do many things than other people, but I need not be concerned because there are always others around to take care of me.’” does not applies to some of the tribe’s tradition in Indonesia, because there are some tribes in which the family should think that their children are able to make their own way. For example, Minangkabaunese families consider their children able to find a living outside their hometown when they are twelve years old and above. If the children do not do so, it will bring shame to them and the town folk will mock them. Thus, the children cannot just sit down relaxing, thinking that there are always others to take care of them.

                In conclusion, birth order is not the only thing which affects the children’s behavior and personality. It may also be determined by their principle, gender, and tradition.

-Muhammad Yusril Yuriis