A Feeling Called "Love"

                Love, people may refer it to many things; friends, family, lovers, etc. In my point of view, it refers to the obedience to God to do things that He orders and not to do things that He forbids, strong feeling of deep affection for somebody or something, person or thing that you like very much, or the act of caring someone you consider important in every part of your life. If you really love somebody or something, you would not mind giving your attention, your properties, your time, or anything else to the one you love.

In the passage, Esther killed Lawrence so that he cannot marry another girl except her, who loved him very much since childhood, but did not have his grandfather agreement. I do not agree with her action. In my opinion, which Esther called “love”, is not love. That is a contradiction; it drove her to kill the one she loved, while when you really love someone, you would not want him/her to be hurt even if it is just a scratch. It is arrogant to say that when you love someone you only allow him/her to care for you ignoring the world and everything else, because you are willing to give it yourself, need not be forced. What Esther felt, I would call it “blinding love”.

Every human born to this world “has” the right to live. It is one of the fundamental rights of human, but you do not have the rights to take other people’s life, unless in some cases when someone broke serious law so that he got Death punishment. Everything in life is about choices, so when we “have” the rights to live, it means that we also have the right to choose, to decide our way, doesn’t it? It also means that, because we decide it ourselves, we have our own responsibility and cannot have other people take the consequences. It is also valid in backwards, we cannot push others to decide something about their life (moreover the marriage decision) only to our advantages, profits, or merely pleasures.

It is true that human has the right to live, but actually the life itself was given by The Creator, God. This is because; to put it simply, can you create your own cells, tissues, organs, systemic organs, even with the help of others in the beginning? Can you make your own self alive after you were dead? If not, then it is given, He can take it back whenever the time comes and make rules about it.

In my religion, there are some strict rules about death punishment. It can only be executed by certain people (waliyul amri) and is given to people who commit heavy violation, i.e. killing others viciously without the right excuses (qishas, blood paid by blood), displaying a sexual immorality (zinah) in front of public while they know the legal marriage procedure, etc. . How about Euthanasia, the painless killing of people who suffer a painful incurable disease, usually done by the one who loves them (i.e. his/her family)? It is forbidden. First, it will eliminate the blessings that may be given to him. Second, in my religion, it is considered as the act of desperation, which is highly forbidden for Mu’min. Third, when someone is sick, his sins is taken, reduced, removed gradually, so that if Euthanasia is done, it will stop the process of “clearing” him/her. Fourth, it will put humans on the same level as animals, as we understand, cats will “eat” some of their newborn babies who will not grow up normally. Thus, love cannot give a license to kill.

His love has inspired me much until today, and I hope it will continue that way. How could I know that He loves me, His creature? First, I was born as Muslim, as a complete and pure child. Second, I am still given the time to correct my mistakes, to do good deeds, and avoid His prohibitions. Third, I am often placed in good surroundings, where I meet friends with better faith in God than me, and teachers who never tired of giving courages and advices for the sake of their students. My family has also inspired me, they support me, give me directions, fulfill my study needs, always there when I am discouraged or feeling down, understand me more than any other people. Thus, I love them so much; I thank God for bringing me into this world, into my family.

In conclusion, people may have different opinion about love, but love itself will not allow the one we love to be hurt. We have the right to live, which should not be taken by other people, except by The Creator of this world, God. We also cannot push other people to make decision based on our needs, profits, business, or even just pleasures; we are responsible for the choices we take.

-Muhammad Yusril Yuriis

Something about Family

                In my opinion, Forer’s discussion of birth order is less accurate. I was born as the third, the last children in my family, neither I feel like “I am less able to do many things than other people” nor I want others to care much about me. I think that being the last means I should be better in almost everything than my siblings already done, because I have much more time to learn how to do things from them, thus I obtained more experience than them. For example, long before my Final Examination, I watched my siblings prepared for their Final Examination and asked how the results were. After that, I have this in my mind, “I, as the last children should have been got a better result than my siblings’. I will follow their method of preparation, or I will improve the method if it does not suit me”. That was what I think at that time.

                I am the last and the only son, so my parents may have some high expectations of me as their “last hope”. This is because most of the parents would prefer to have sons rather than daughters, due to the difference of capability they have and the responsibility they must carry when they grow up. Thus, I do not like others to care much about me, since it has the tendency to make me a dependent person. I want to be a wise, responsible, truthful, and successful man, more than my father who managed to succeed struggling in the crowd of Jakarta, also I want to thank my parents for all the lessons of life they teach me, for all the struggles they had to raise me, and for all the love they gave me, by any means.

                Forer’s discussion applies more to the typical family in the U.S. (mother, father, two children) than to families in general. That is because it less describes the middle child and the single child, it focuses on “the later and the first child”.

                The statement, “the youngest child tends to think, ‘I am less able to do many things than other people, but I need not be concerned because there are always others around to take care of me.’” does not applies to some of the tribe’s tradition in Indonesia, because there are some tribes in which the family should think that their children are able to make their own way. For example, Minangkabaunese families consider their children able to find a living outside their hometown when they are twelve years old and above. If the children do not do so, it will bring shame to them and the town folk will mock them. Thus, the children cannot just sit down relaxing, thinking that there are always others to take care of them.

                In conclusion, birth order is not the only thing which affects the children’s behavior and personality. It may also be determined by their principle, gender, and tradition.

-Muhammad Yusril Yuriis